Look, I'm a 58-year-old married chick who's got a pussy that..

Look, I'm a 58-year-old married chick who's got a pussy that's screaming for action. The husband, as you all know, isn't going to get the job done, and let me tell you, finding a guy to ram his cock in me and leave me oozing his cum is like trying to find a unicorn in a dumpster. Yes, I have Shane, Jake, and occasionally a few others, but unlike pussies, dicks come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and the more, the merrier. Everybody thinks, "Oh, you're a woman, just walk into a bar, and dudes will be tripping over their dicks to get to you." Bullshit. I barely get approached, and when I do, it's usually some weirdo who's one bad day away from wearing my skin as a dress. Quick silence of the Lambs reference there for those who didn't catch it.

Obviously, I'm not out here looking for a fucking soulmate—well, at least most of the time, I just want a hard dick to rearrange my guts, fuck me until my eyes roll back, and then smile as they say, "see ya" while I'm still dripping their load out of one hole or another that it was left in. Maybe I'm open to something more if the stars align, but good luck finding that. Guys my age? Jesus, they come in two categories. They are either falling apart like a soggy taco or overly fit and obsessed with letting me know how fit they are and giving me tips on what I should be eating. Plus the older guys tend to be so clingy that they're texting me "wyd" at 3 a.m. like I'm their parole officer. I am not a fan of having my pussy on a leash.

So, I go for the younger guys—fresh meat, or one would think. They've got the stamina to pound me into next week and the cum to leave me looking like a glazed donut. But holy fuck, it's a dick minefield. I bet I've had at least fifty 30 to 40-year-olds ghost me or freeze up when it's time to nut down my throat. I'm serving them my pussy on a silver platter, and they are too scared to pull the trigger? I'm not asking for a marriage proposal...I just want you to fuck me stupid and leave me leaking.

It's exhausting. I get myself all worked up, ready to have my holes stuffed with cock.... and nothing. High and dry. Maybe it's because I'm not shy about what I want—I'll tell a guy straight up I want his cock slamming me until I'm dripping cum out of every hole. But apparently, that's too much for some of these fragile egos. The landscape has changed so much over the years. It's not that guys won't show interest...they just want to "get to know me better" first. I'm thinking, what better way to get to know me than by letting suck the sperm out of your balls. I say keep it simple...fuck me, fill me, and fuck off.